Not enough time.

Last night Patrick came home and the usual question during dinner, "How was your day?", came up. He gave me the play by play of how his day went. The end of his day consisted of him going to cut wood with my dad. I asked how it was and he said they had to hurry cause dad was needing to go to the hospital. Any time my dad has had to go to the hospital it is either one of two things. He is having another "Rock Baby" or my Grannymaw is back in the hospital. I ask him why and he said that Grannymaw is in Transitional Care. I didn't think much of it due to her having problems with her medications.

This morning during my daily talk with dad on the way to work he brings up Grannymaw and that she isn't doing very good. He let me know that she is in the severe stages of Alzheimer's. Dad said that she was angry with the nurses at the nursing home and even slapped one of them. I use to work at this nursing home and I hate to say that this happens. When a person's mind goes awry you will never know what could happen. At this point my Grannymaw was sent to the hospital to fix her meds and possibly go to a more tight facility.

With saying all of this I have been thinking more and more about family. I do not by all means have a large family but in my heart they are my rock. My Grannymaw was the one who I could run to to "fix" everything. I remember the times I would call her and just talk for hours. I would go stay with her during school vacations and it was like I was in the best place possible. We would get all the food I would like, rent movies and stayed up all night baking things. I even got to drink soda at all THREE meals if I wanted. Now that she is not who she use to be she is still the best. I now go visit her and leave crying because I want to fix her. She now thinks I'm someone else. She thinks Ashton is myself and that she brings her baby doll (Kylie) with her.

I know one day she will be in a better place but it doesn't make it any easier. Knowing that she won't be there to see my children grow up is hard. There is not enough time to share all the things that I haven't gotten to. I one day want to be that person like she is with me. My friend.